Eternal Happiness or Misery?
by Kstewlover1
Summary: Clarke has been gone for weeks alone in the forest, is anyone able to find her and bring her back. And what about her and Lexa will they find their way back to each other?
1. Chapter 1 Accidents

**Eternal Happiness or Misery?**

 **Chapter 1**

 **'** **Accidents'**

"Clarke" the sound of her voice made me cringe. I was gone for weeks before Lexa found out I left Camp Jaha. After the Mount Weather horror I just couldn't stand to be around anyone, seeing all those faces happy and alive while I killed so many for them just to live. It just didn't seem fair to me. So I left just when I thought I was deep enough in the forest for anyone to find me. I was wrong.

"Leave me alone, I don't want to see you ever again!" I started to run, I didn't know where I was going but it didn't matter as long as I didn't have to see her again. She broke my heart even when I wasn't ready to let her in, except she already was. I just refused to acknowledge it at the time. "Clarke, please wait!" I feel every ounce of adrenaline in me working my body to get me as far away from her as possible. This can't be happening, how the hell did she find me!? Urgh whatever It doesn't matter now, just keep running. "CLARKE! STOP!" then everything went dark…. Guess I should have stopped and face my fears. It would have made a lot of things easier.

 ** _Hey guys and gals if you like this preview thing (I know its not much) and want me to continue then please leave a comment_** ** _any suggestions to keep my writing flowing is always appreciated!_**


	2. Chapter 2 Waking Up

**Chapter 2**

 **'** **Waking Up'**

"She's starting to wake up, get Lexa. Hey Clarke how are you feeling?" Clarke groaned "Urgh my head, it hurts. What the hell happened Raven?" "Well you kind of fell into a whole in the ground and hit your head. Lexa tried to warn you but you were too busy trying to be a lone wolf so here we are." "Were are we exactly?" She tries to sit up. "Careful don't strain yourself, you've been out cold for 2 days. And well we are in the Grounders Camp. Lexa brought you here she wouldn't let us take you too Camp Jaha. She cares for you a lot you know." Great she thought now I have to see her and everyone else again, I'm not ready for that.

"Wait, what did you say? Why the hell are we in the Grounders Camp?!" Ravens sighs, well then, here we go she thinks. "Don't freak out, please Clarke. We and the Grounders are finally in peace, they respect us since, you know the Mountain thing. And well especially when Lexa heard you were missing she pretty much freaked out, like really REALLY freaked out. She ordered almost an entire army to look for you in the woods. Everyone was scared because of her behaviour, she let her emotions show. Some even say they heard her cry inside of her tent, trust me it was terrifying"

Clarke feels her emotion trying to bubble back up again, her heart starts to clench and speeding up. Oh god not again. She closes her eyes and balls her fists. "Clarke? Hey Clarke are you okay?" Clarke cries out. "No. No. No. No. No. No. Go away! I'm sorry! I had to save my people! I'm so sorry! Please just go away!" Clarke starts to sob in a fetus position. "Clarke?!" Lexa runs towards her. "What did you do Raven!?" "I didn't do anything! She just started to freak out! And saying stuff like, I had to save my people!?" Lexa kneels in front of Clarke. "Clarke." She says in a gently voice as she holds Clarke in her arms. "Clarke listen to me. You aren't there anymore those people are gone. They can't hurt you anymore. You had to save your own people, if you didn't do that than your friends would have died. You are okay. You are save. You're here with me. I'll protect you. I love you. And I'm so sorry. I'm here. I'll never leave your side again." Clarke falls asleep after a while in Lexa's arms.

 ** _Xxx_**

 ** _I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and or follow/favourite. If you have prompts, ideas etc are always welcomed :D_**


	3. Chapter 3 Feelings

**Chapter 3**

 **"** **Feelings"**

"Clarke? Hey honey, How are you?" Clarke groans and sits up right in her bed and looks around to see if Lexa is in the room. He smiles as she sees that Lexa isn't there, she just isn't ready to face Lexa's admission of love towards her. She sighs and looks at her mother. "I'm okay, my head hurts, not as much as yesterday though. So that's nice waking up too. "Her mother smiles. "I'm glad to hear that. Let me check your head wound to see if its healing correctly. Hmm that looks fine by me, maybe a day or 2 more in bed then you should be alright to go home with us." Abby smiles at her daughter lovingly. "Okay sweetheart I'm going to need to head back to Camp Jaha, Raven or Octavia can stay with you if you want?"

"No thanks mum I'll be fine." Clarke smiles at her mother with some doubt. Abby looks at her daughter with worrisome. "Let me know if you need anything alright? Love you." Clarke watches her mother leave and sighs out of relieve, finally okay how do I get out of this place? Clarke puts her feet on the ground okay here we go she thought. She gently stands up and finds her balance. Okay just one step after the other she thinks. Clarke slowly walks to the door and grabs a post, okay maybe this wasn't so easy after all. Fuck it I need to get out of here. Clarke takes a deep breath and walks out of the room towards the exit of the tent. Crash.

"Ouch." Fuck. "Ahhh." "Clarke what are you doing out of bed? You should be resting!" Oh great just the person I wanted to crash into while escaping. "Just testing my feet, don't worry about me. I'm fine." "No you are not, you can't even stand on your two feet why would you test them out? Come on back to bed." Urgh Great. "I'm fine, really Lexa. I promise." Clarke tries to smile, but in vain. Lexa looks at her intensely "Clarke, don't lie to me please. I can tell you are not fine. You don't have to run away again, the people understand what you had to do. They don't hate you." Clarke sits down on the bed and turns her head away from Lexa. "No they don't understand and neither do you. So just go away!"

Clarke closes her eyes to hold back her tears and feelings. She swallows heavily and breaths slowly in and out to try to calm herself down. A tear escapes her left eye. "Clarke." Lexa goes to sit next to her and wipes of the tear with her thumb and rests her hand on Clarkes jaw and turns Clarkes face facing hers. "Look at me please?" Says Lexa lovingly. Clarke feels her heartbeat racing trying to jump out of her chest. Her stomach feels like it swallowed a dozen rocks and at the same time a dozen butterflies. Her breathing shudders. She feels her feelings arise in the depth of her heart trying to come back up for air. No. "Stop!"

Clarke pulls her head from Lexa's grip and stares angrily at Lexa. "I don't love you Lexa! So get out now!" Lexa looks hurt, but she composes herself quickly she stands up and clears her throat. "Fine, I'll send someone to look at your wounds and then you can go as you please." "Thank you, your highness." Clarke rolls her eyes, normally she would have felt bad for reacting that way but it was Lexa's own fault to make me feel again. Lexa turns around and walks out of the room. Clarke sighs and feels relieved that could have ended badly as in feeling again. I can never let that happen to me ever again ' _Hodnes laik kwelnes'._

 ** _Xxx_**

 ** _I hope you enjoyed it. Please tell me what you guys think so far review and or follow/favourite. If you have prompts, ideas etc are always welcomed :D_**


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